Hi, Jess (:

sincerelynicolee:

I understand though. I didn’t want you to wait for me anyway. I wanted you to live your life without having to worry about me as well. I didn’t want to weigh you down and be a burden. Well, I wish you the best and thanks for the memories. It was all worth it.

(Source: kelvotoro, via alohaamichelle)

My heart is pounding, my tears are struggling to be free, my mind is exhausted, and my body just wants to give in. I’m hurting so much that I can’t do anything but lay here & cry to sleep. It seems like every aspect of my life is falling apart. It’s that feeling where I feel like I shouldn’t be here. The feeling where I just wish I was home. But what would I gain if I run home? It hurts so much but I want to keep fighting just to see what’s in store for me. I want to give up & just give in… but I want to see what miracle God has in store. For now, i’m holding on with every little strength I have. & I know God will come to my rescue.

Sometimes I wonder how much longer I need to be broken in order to be where I’m supposed to be. I try to comfort myself thinking that maybe everything is where it’s supposed to be.. BUT… Until now, I’m still hurting.

I feel like I’m trying too hard to fit into a shell that isn’t made for me. I want to make this my home, my paradise… but I everyday I have to deal with glares from people or words that are thrown at me like sticks & stones.

I’m still awaiting the day that I’ll finally find peace. The day when I’ll able to live each day full of joy. At least right now, I’m finding my joy in the blessings God is pouring on me. I mean, I love being broken by God because throughout the process I can how God has a perfect plan for me. Sometimes it just becomes tiring to fight.

For now, I’ll continue to put my full trust in God because I believe He has a reason for all of this.

(Source: imperfectbeautifullove, via iwontbetrayyou)